When I started this Seoul Odyssey Diaries series I thought that I would be able to talk about cutsy aesthetic cafes and stuff… but well life is dynamic..

Everything started on a cold November evening (November 25th). My friend Bin and I were gearing up for our first private racquetball lesson at the Sport Time Sports Center in Yangjae, Seoul. She picked me up earlier, and we were super excited for our training session. After changing into our uniforms, we had our first class. It was pretty amazing because I immediately felt my Schlagkraft increasing, as well as the speed of sending the ball to the lower part of the wall.

For those unfamiliar, racquetball is a high-energy game where players take turns hitting a small rubber ball against a wall, aiming to make it challenging for the opponent to return it before it bounces twice. The objective? Outsmart and outplay your opponent to reach the agreed-upon score first.

After the training session, we got some extra time to play a couple of training games. Being the super motivated girly I am, I asked one of the guys to play a one-on-one game. It was pretty fun until I slipped and twisted my foot. Something in my ankle felt as if it ripped, and it was so painful I immediately fell to the ground and had to take a break. But everyone thought I was just tired and needed a short rest, and I didn’t mind, as my pride didn’t want to give up and be beaten just yet. Somehow, I stood up and finished the game, with adrenaline hitting my head.

The coach immediately noticed something was wrong, but another game was open, and they looked for another player, so I went in. After a couple of minutes, I felt the most disgusting feeling I ever had before—I felt something rip in my ankle and heard a strange pop sound. And then I knew—something was actually wrong. I ran out of the racquetball court, and the coach gave me some ice. Everyone seemed quite tired from today, so I somehow didn’t want to cause an inconvenience and was too shy to ask to take me to the hospital, so I just went home. The real problem is tho that I have panic fear of hospitals, doctors, and especially needles.

Eventually, I asked Minjun to take a taxi, pick me up, and go to the ER. They did not have an MRI machine, so they took an X-ray to see if my bones were okay. Thankfully, they were. Ligament problems were the main issue, I was told, but no other instructions were given, so I just went back home.

The next morning, Minjun rushed to work, and my lovely Seojin came over to help me and took me to a hospital near Sinchon, which had the best reviews in a mom’s cafe. And for real Seojin is my angel because without her help I would just…. So we went to the hospital, and the doctor there immediately even before the MRI told me that there was no other option than surgery as just looking at my ankle made it clear to him. They did a X-ray again but said that the MRI was fully booked today and I needed to come back tomorrow. The MRI tomorrow was also fully booked, but they told me they would make time in the morning right after opening, so I had to come back the next morning and should pack my hospital bag because there was no other option but to have the surgery as soon as possible. Seojin once again looked up the surgeon, and he was really highly rated and a good one, as it turned out, while I was just crying all the time. Haha, I was still super angry with the situation—I wanted to play racquetball and have fun. What’s more, I had to do my research and not have surgery, which recovery is set to at least 2 months until I could walk again and another 6 to be able to do sports… so this situation was so annoying I felt helpless and as if I don’t even know….

Eventually I went back home. And Seojin stayed with me the night, helping out, as at this point I had such bad pain I couldn’t even go to the toilet alone. And of course, I was told not to eat or drink anything after midnight as after the MRI tomorrow a direct operation would be possible.

And then it started. First, a painful half narcosis, where a gel-like substance was injected into a nerve in my spine. After ensuring I couldn’t feel anything, I was put to sleep while strapped to the operating table, which felt pretty scary. Fun fact: I woke up during the surgery and found it freezing and a lowkey smell of blood.. Thankfully, I slipped back into sleep. The next thing I remember was seeing Seojin looking concerned while I shivered. I later learned that what was supposed to be a one-hour surgery ended up taking over two hours due to worse-than-expected conditions. One ligament was completely torn from my bone, while another was nearly shattered, complicating the procedure and prolonging it.

My surgery: ATFL, CFL repair ankle Rt. Imagine your ankle as a finely tuned orchestra, with each ligament playing its part to keep you moving gracefully. Among these, the anterior talofibular ligament (ATFL) and calcaneofibular ligament (CFL) are the lead violinists, ensuring harmony and stability. When these vital strings snap the symphony falters, and the ankle’s melody becomes a discordant tune.

The Surgical Sonata: A precise incision is made on the outer side of the ankle, unveiling the damaged ligaments beneath. The surgeon artfully reattaches the torn ligaments to the fibula, the ankle’s steadfast pillar, using an anchors. This meticulous reattachment aims to restore the ligament’s original strength and function. 

After my surgery, I endured an excruciating experience. The hospital was bustling with activity, and the staff, though highly skilled, were pretty busy. And I found myself in unbearable pain. When I called the nurse, she informed me that a potent painkiller had been administered intravenously, and she couldn’t provide more. Five agonizing hours later, unable to endure any longer, she checked and discovered that the IV had malfunctioned, leaving me without pain relief. For those five hours, I had endured the aftermath of surgery, including the incision, sutures, and bone anchor implantation, all without adequate medication. Haha.. haha.. Ha.. Thankfully she injected some extra painkillers to relieve the pain right away and made the IV function well.

I couldn’t sleep a bit because of the pain that is why the following morning I receive narcotic injections to alleviate the discomfort. But lovely people helped me endure. Eventually, a 3-week hospital stay started. Post-surgery, my ankle was put in a in a cast and wound antisepsis was performed once a day. Physical therapy becomes became the only fun activity as I was able to leave my hospital room. Wheelchair race it is for now.

Due to my injury, I had to forgo participating in the university racquetball tournament. Instead, I watched the live stream, while my friend Yubin supported me by bringing over delicious food and spending time with me. What more she got me into knitting. Yeah right.. knitting haha. I am deeply grateful to the wonderful people around me who helped me through this painful experience.

P.s. the knitted bag was for my mum as a Christmas gift, she was… let’s say quite stunned haha

Another adventure I experienced was on December 3, 2024, as I lay in the sterile confines of the hospital, the world outside was gripped by unprecedented turmoil. Former President Yoon Suk Yeol’s sudden declaration of martial law sent shockwaves through South Korea, a nation unaccustomed to such measures since the 1980s. The announcement came late at night, with the president citing the need to protect the country from “North Korean communist forces” and “antistate forces,” and to “rebuild and protect” South Korea from “falling into ruin.” My friends from back home were making fun of me, teasing that it was the best time to not be able to walk.

On December 6th, my birthday, I was granted a brief leave from the hospital. My dear friends, Seoijin and Yubin, had lovingly decorated my hospital room to celebrate. They took me out in a wheelchair to “Pog,” a cozy spot known for its European-style baked potatoes and pizzas with delightful dough where another couple of friends joined us. We also went to get some coffee and take some pictures. Afterwards, I came back to the hospital, and some more dear people visited me, and I actually had a wonderful day. I felt really thankful to have such precious people in my life. I got many heartwarming messages which made me teary, especially those from my little sister Klara and my mum. Their thoughtful gestures made my day truly special.

During my stay friends came to visit me and I was so thankful for their presence as at this time it actually felt as a present.I also got closer to the staff the nurses and docs and everyone kept joking that I moved in and made the hospital room my own. By the way, fun fact, I had to wrap my whole foot in plastic if I wanted to take a shower.

Another thing… All I did was to eat. I gained so much weight.. It is crazy. Still was very delicious. haha…….. I got three meals a day and because of my medications I had to eat at least a little bit but hospital food makes one even sadder so of course some sweets from friends and delivery food while chatting is the only thing one looks forward while in the hospital. Now I only need to loose the extra 9kd I’ve gained………

Random fact: during my hospital stay, I discovered my cherished “애착이불” (attachment blanket), which was actually a heated surgical blanket designed to keep patients warm during procedures. Despite its medical purpose, I couldn’t bear to part with it (I even took it home). This blanket, often used in medical settings to prevent hypothermia during surgeries, became my unexpected source of solace. Somehow it comforted me. This helped me also why my stitched were removed which also once again got me crying >.< ㅠㅠ

Despite the visits from friends, the confinement of the hospital room weighed heavily on me. I yearned to enjoy life beyond those walls and grappled with feelings of unfairness and existential doubt. I needed to get some work done, and I actually did so; nevertheless, the pain was pretty bad, and the best I could do was stare at my PC screen. To distract myself, I rewatched a couple of cliché K-dramas. One that was particularly fun was “Cheer Up” (치얼업), which introduced me to the OST “지금을 사랑해” (Enjoy This Moment) by Stella Jang. The soothing melody and heartfelt lyrics provided a comforting escape during those challenging times. Another K-drama that I really have really enjoyed was “When the Phone Rings” is titled “지금 거신 전화는”.

Upon my discharge on December 13th, the outside world felt more exhilarating than ever. Simply being outdoors brought immense joy. But the crutches that I had to use were more than delightful… What more, returning home presented significant challenges. My residence, perched atop a steep hill without stairs, became treacherous with the snow and ice. Navigating this path with crutches was nearly impossible, even with assistance. Moreover, taxis refused to drive to my house due to its dead-end location, further complicating my situation. These obstacles contributed to my extended hospital stay.

Eventually I had to go back to Lithuania for a week and this bought new troubles. What if the wound would pop open because of the changing pressure in the plane especially during take off and landing? Well thankfully everything went well.

Eventually I got back to Seoul and finished my tasks trying to get back to normal life as soon as possible.

As I was committed to my recovery, attending physical therapy twice a week. However, the extended period of immobility had taken a toll on my body. The muscles on my right side had atrophied significantly, leaving me unable to walk without assistance. Muscle atrophy, the loss of muscle mass and strength, is a common consequence of prolonged immobilization. Another thing was that I still felt pain in my ankle but well of course that’s normal.

Now – almost 3 months later I still have heavy pain. My ankle endured two flights from Seoul to Lithuania and back and then again so no wonder haha

I am back here in Kaunas and concentrating on the last stage of my PhD. The light in the dark is almost visible now. I also teach couple of courses so it is a busy schedule nevertheless, because of my ankle pain and still having problems to walk I feel tired sooner. Well, hopefully I am quick in recovery and can do sports again. Fingers crossed. 🤞

And for now…

…stay tuned

Au revoir

– M